One last good-bye to summer

As you may have noticed, I've already "redecorated" around here for fall.  I love the idea of getting cozy in fall:  bundling up around a campfire, drinking hot drinks just to warm your hands (okay, I do that year-round), wearing warm sweaters or anything made of fleece, using scarves for warmth and not just fashion, and wrapping up in a throw or quilt.  Thus the patchwork quilt backdrop.  As much as I'd really like to find the time and energy to make one for the girls in the new bedroom I'm planning for them, I'm also trying to be realistic about my SuperMom abilities.  :)   Someday I'll have Kathy help me bust out that sewing machine again, but in the meantime I'll just keep pinning my ideas on Pinterest.

Anyway, back to the post at hand.  The other day I found this YouTube video that I apparently forgot to include in my extensive Omaha photo dump series.  I love Magdalenne's little gyrating body so much that even though I am fully ready to embrace fall, I just had to share this one last glimpse back at a moment in summer:

Much ado about being a mommy

Confession of the year:  I hate being a working mom.  There, I said it.  Now, let me clarify:  I enjoy my job and I love my girls.  What I hate is that I have to be both a mom and a lawyer in the same day.  I hate rushing my girls out the door in the morning – not to mention the million little struggles that must ensue in order to get us to the door (changing clothes, eating breakfast, brushing teeth, brushing hair, putting shoes on, changing diapers, packing lunches, choosing which toy to bring and which must be left home – all the while trying to make myself presentable as a professional…) and I hate rushing home in the evening, with no time for walks or parks or anything fun as a family because by the time we get home and get through with dinner, it’s nearly time for bed.

I hate spending the little time I do have with the girls disciplining them.  Last night was a prime example because Juliette is in a real testing-her-boundaries phase right now.  Everything I say to her is met with a “No! I don’t want to do x, y, z or 1, 2, 3 or anything that you might ever possibly suggest”.  While every request demand she makes is in that nails-on-a-chalkboard whine.  My patience at the end of a day that starts at 5:30 a.m. with zero down time for me has its limits and my heart winces when those limits come out in snaps and shouts at the girls.

And here’s the real kicker:  I have a great, flexible job, a husband who does help, and family nearby who is there for me constantly.  I can’t imagine the day in the life of a single mom with a terrible employer.  Or a mom who has to do this routine five days a week (I have an angel named MJ who flies down to rescue me once a week.)  How are those moms staying sane?  I was on the verge last night of a nervous breakdown – and that was after the girls went to bed.  It was like I was in survival mode while they were up and as soon as they went down, my walls just crumbled and I couldn’t take it anymore.  I know there will be better days, and I am so grateful for all of the things I do have to make my life easier, but sometimes it all just seems like such a rat race and then we’re told, “Enjoy it!  They grow up so fast!”  Argh!!!  I’m trying to enjoy it, but my back hurts, I’m dead tired, they're driving me crazy, and my house is a wreck.

We women want it all, but when we get it – it can just be too much.  Maybe it would be different with a partner who is around to help more.  Maybe it will be different when they get a little older.  Maybe it would be different if we could afford a cleaning service, or an in-home nanny to cook meals when we get home so I’m not coming in the door and instantly trying to prepare something healthy to eat, still in heels, with Magdalenne on my hip and Juliette whining in my ear.  Did I really sign up for all this? 

Sometimes the lines from the Shakespeare play “Much Ado About Nothing” echo in my ear, like when Beatrice pleads:  “Oh God, that I were a man!”  (And then I imagine Benedick telling me, “Get thee a wife!” because that is exactly what I would want if I were a man; actually, that's kind of just what I want now -- an extra "me" in the house!)  I’m not trying to make a sexist statement, but the fact is that little kids just want their moms -- at least my little kids do.  And there’s only so much mom to go around – particularly when nearly nine hours of her day is spent driving and working.  I only have two arms.  (How do mothers of multiples do it?)  Sometimes it feels like I only have so much sanity left to allow me to hear the word "Mommy!" a million and one times each day without screaming for Calgon.

(Last night I had a dream that our next-door neighbor saw me over the fence and said, "it looks like you could use a martini!"  At first I declined, but then decided, yes!  I do need a martini!  Not sure what it says when your brain is consoling you with alcohol while you're sleeping...)

I wish I had some cathartic thing to say to wrap this all up, but really the only point was just to let it all out.  My heart goes out to the single moms, the second and third-shift moms, the moms of multiples, the stay-at-home moms keeping their sanity in check, the moms without family close by, and the moms who may have it all, but still just need to crack sometimes.  Great big interweb hug to you all.  And if you're not one of those moms, give a mom a hug today, or do something sweet for her.  Any mom could use it.  Any time.

Be happy!

Magdalenne has recently developed a fond affection for Bobby McFerrin's song, Don't Worry Be Happy.  She can even ask for it by name, which is just a melting pot of cuteness.   "Be happy? Be happy?"  It's hard not to just "be happy" when she asks!  Sometimes she'll "whistle" out the background woo hoo hoo sounds from the song and you can tell she can hear it playing in her head.  I have to admit, it's a great attitude booster to have on repeat -- all. the. time.   

Here's a favorite YouTube animated version to get your week started:

Be happy everyone!!!

(The photo above was shamelessly lifted from Kathy's blog, Each Moment Only Once.)

Adventures with Gigi & Grandpa Bob at Bookworm Gardens

 The following pictures are compliments of my Mom and Dad (or more affectionately known as "Gigi" and "Grandpa Bob" to the girls).  On Wednesday, they took the girls to a place called Bookworm Gardens up in Sheboygan.  Magdalenne doesn't look too sure about the adventure she's in for.

But according to eye-witness reports, Bookworm Gardens lived up to and exceeded all expectations.  I'll let the pictures speak for themselves since I wasn't there myself.

I love this one.

(I now understand why Magdalenne was trying to sit on the iron doorstop dog at Mary Ellen's house later that same day!)

And it looks like Juliette didn't let the crazy stop after they headed out!

Thank you Gigi & Grandpa Bob -- for the pictures and taking the girls on a great adventure!  We love you!!!

M&Me

My, but we are having an unusual plethora of pictures of me!  A rather rare treat for my lovely readers, no doubt!  I typically prefer to remain hidden behind the camera, but sometimes it's easier to get pics of a clingy little lady if we can do so while she's sitting on my lap -- which is exactly what she's doing in the following photos.

I love how you can see her realizing there's a picture being taken and start hamming it up. 

Her clinginess is actually getting a little better lately, which has been helpful on both my ability to get things done, and my arms/back!  I was a little worried that she'd regress after our Montreal trip, but she seems to be doing okay so far (furiously knocks on wood!!)

She may not need to be attached to me quite as much, but there is still a very strong attachment to the ever-present purple dog named Cleo and the turquoise blanket.  If Magdalenne could have these items surgically attached to the crooks of her arms she would be a most happy child.

(And I guess I would be remiss not to mention the ongoing nuk attachment.  We are trying to get rid of it and we say it's only for sleeping... but the girl has a will on her, and she has now learned to say "nuk" and thus demand it even more strongly whenever it is in sight.  My new goal is to have it gone by her two-year birthday. Ugh.  Not a fun prospect.)

Yes, these are photos of her in my lap, early in the morning.  

(Notice my strategury in not including my morning face in these pics.)

And again, she notices the camera, realizes it's a picture and - ta da! - SMILES!  I love this girl.

Here's another strange thing I love about her in the morning -- her smell.  I can't say that it's necessarily a sweet baby smell (though it's also not an adult morning breath smell) it's just her.  It may be a total moms-only thing to love that smell, but it just makes me want to inhale and nuzzle and cherish.  I don't know if it's the way she smelled as a baby and therefore is something my brain has memorized as My Child's Smell, but I think there are some serious endorphins released when I smell it.  And then she squirms away, and our day begins, and the smell vanishes into the activity of our lives... until the next morning when I get another hit.

Smiley face from The Lettered Cottage.

If you Can Can Can... Canada!

As mentioned earlier, last weekend Chen and I jetted off on a weekend trip to Montreal.  It was a combination work trip for me (I had an AILA board of governors meeting there) and a much-needed anniversary getaway for the two of us.  September 3rd was a our seven (yes, SEVEN!) year anniversary.  Crazy.

So Kathy and Mike graciously agreed to watch the girls for us and we skedaddled ourselves right out of Milwaukee.  Here we are on the plane, reveling in our moment of just us-ness.

Above is the face Chen makes in response to me telling him how to look into the right spot on the camera so we don't look like this:

There, that's better:

 Our first full day was spent doing one of my very favorite things in the whole world:  wandering around a foreign city, exploring shops and cafes, people watching, taking in the sights, and having absolutely no agenda whatsoever (except occasionally hunting down bathrooms or band-aids for my blisters!)

And what a lovely city to explore!  We had such a great time and we did such a terrible job of taking pictures.  But I kept seeing tourists filming every little thing and all I could think was, who's going to want to see all that?  Instead, we took just a couple to capture our day so we'd have just a little something to remind us seven years from now... 

One of the funnier moments was the torrential downpour we got caught in that evening when we tried to go out for a romantic night on the town.  We walked to a little sushi place and enjoyed a romantic dinner, but by the time we went to leave, our lovely downtown was being assaulted by a ferocious wind and rain.  We tried to wait it out, but it didn't seem to be letting up.  So we just decided to live it up and made a run for it.  As soon as we did, it started to rain even harder and we had no choice but to duck into a little stone doorway of a building to wait it out.   And again, when it didn't seem to be letting up at all, we made another run for it.  We were aiming for a jazz bar, the whereabouts of which were a little sketchy to both us and the French-speaking sushi waitress, but we persisted on.  When we finally found one, the music had already ended.  Now dripping wet and getting cold, we decided to head back to the hotel to dry up and get a drink at the bar there.  We went to catch a cab, but found the one taxi that didn't accept credit cards and our supply of Canadian dollars was nil.  It was our destiny to be rained upon that night, and then rained upon some more.

We jumped puddles and dodged car splashes all the way back and finally arrived to our hotel... and when we got up to the room, we looked like this:

Of course the pictures don't quite do it justice, but again, this is a post mostly for us and preserving our memories because as parents, our memories are pretty spotty these days, and I have a feeling that even a funny little night like this one might get lost in the brain knots of bedtimes, daycare schedules, potty training, etc.

Despite the rain (and maybe even a little because of it), we had a lovely, lovely trip and I send the biggest hug and thank you to Kathy and Mike for making it possible for us.  We love you guys!!!

While we're out...

Chen and I are off in Montreal this weekend. Of course we're missing our little ladies something fierce, and for those of you who might be missing pics of them, here are a couple I took before we left. Be back soon!!

Car Talk

Today I took my minivan in for a routine oil change.  While there, I asked the repairman if he could check out the automatic sliding door on the driver's side.  Lately, it's been automatically closing on me as soon as I open it, which tends to make for a painful wrestling match each time I try to put Magdalenne into or out of her carseat on that side.  It's like being slammed into by an unruly Iron Man -- without the Robert Downey Jr. commentary to lighten the mood.

(These are pics from the wagon, but they're the only recent car pics I have to use as a backdrop for a car-related post)

The repairman came back and told me that these automatic sliding doors are pretty complicated to repair and that it would likely take a couple hours, so I told him I'd need to schedule a separate appointment because I had to get back to work.  He said he'd take a quick look to give me an idea about how big of a job it would be.

Within about two minutes, he returned with a smile and this little culprit in hand:

(!!!)

Is it just me, or does that dinosaur have a little shit-eating grin on his face?  I can't tell you how many times I've been beaten up by that door, only to learn that it was all due to this little dude!  

At least I saved myself another trip to the repairman...